Johnny Irish

I Smell An Upset

Thu, 10/18/07

Stop for a moment, Irish Fans, and put that nose that God gave you to good and noble work.

Wherever you are, take a moment to gather yourself, stand up (first make sure your pants are on and your coffee’s not resting between your legs), and thrust your honker skyward. Then, take a long, deep, full breath through your schnoz. Hold it for a few moments (the breath, not your nose), then exhale, slowly.

Did you smell that?

No, not Early Stages B.O. Though if you did get a good whiff of that, perhaps it’s time to start rethinking your choice of deodorant.

I’m talking about the upset. You know, the one that’s sensually and richly hanging in the air all around us. The one that began to intensify in its aroma right around Tuesday afternoon. The one that makes you want to tap, tap, tap your feet to a gleeful Irish Jig.

The one that smells something like 1-6 Notre Dame 24, No. 13 USC 20.

You heard it here first. The Irish will unseat The Trojan Horse Saturday, putting a long-awaited end to a five-game series losing streak and trashing the flimsy National Championship hopes of perhaps the most overrated college football team in recent history.

Remember, this is a team that entered the season as Everybody’s Number One (except Les Miles), boasting a Heisman Trophy favorite at quarterback and a stable of running backs that would make a fantasy football team owner’s pencil neck snap in two. And it’s also the same team that lost 24-23 at home to STANFORD, thanks largely to that same quarterback’s four crippling interceptions.

The signs pointing to an upset have been EVERYWHERE this week. They started to pop up back in sunny SoCal, where Heisman-to-Hurtin quarterback John David Jim-Bob Booty (broken finger on his throwing hand), manchild middle linebacker Rey Maualuga (hip pointer) and lockdown cornerback Terrell Thomas (hamstring) joined the ever-increasing list of Tender Trojans. They continued to sprout up in South Bend on Tuesday, when Coach Weis finally decided to heed Johnny Irish’s expert advice and named junior sparkplug Evan “Pink Shoes” Sharpley the starting quarterback.

And they came to a colorful, crazy head last night, in “Imagination Land”, when a LEPRECHAUN featured prominently on Johnny Irish’s most favoritist show in the world, South Park (though I DO wish they’d leave Sir Bono alone!).

And Saturday afternoon, beneath a beautiful, Blue-Gray Sky, all those signs will lead directly to Notre Dame Stadium, where the Irish, cloaked in throwback 1977 Green Jerseys and hungry for redemption, will suck the air out of the Trojans and breathe new life into their sagging season (by the way, speaking of Green Jerseys, take a moment to browse the Memorabilia Shop section of this site. There are some SWEET Green Jerseys for sale, all autographed by Genuine Legends of South Bend!).