Johnny Irish

Bye of Relief

Mon, 10/29/07

Bye of Relief

Ahhhhh, the bye week. Or, as I like to call it, the High Week (trademark pending, and I’m still willing to accept corporate sponsorship on this one … call me, Miller High Life!).

Secure in the knowledge that there was absolutely NO WAY Notre Dame can lose again this Saturday, your old pal Johnny Irish headed out to the local sports bar (the identity will be kept a secret, largely to protect the not-so-innocent) to soak in some football. I’d say some REAL football, but as bad as things get in South Bend, I refuse to demean our boys in Blue & Gold with such talk. After all, as ugly as the 1-7 Irish have been, there’s something to be said for strapping on a helmet and taking the field. Not everyone can do it, that’s for sure.

While basking in the glorious trinity of multiple games, deep-fried food and scantily clad waitresses, I couldn’t help but be struck by some of the things that so many of these other teams’ offenses seemed to do – often over and over again. And often against teams that Notre Dame had fallen flat on their red faces against.

They moved the ball. On the ground. And through they air. Without using their feet to do so. And they put points on the board. Often by scoring touchdowns. Often with relative ease.

I really noticed this phenomenon during Oregon’s 24-17 win over USC. After watching the Trojans annihilate, humiliate and exfoliate the thin-skinned Irish in a 38-0 pantsing last Saturday, I had to believe that, young quarterback aside, this was one of the best teams in the country.

Well, maybe not. Because after losses to the Ducks and STANFORD, it’s clear that the Trojans aren’t even the best team in the Pac-10. (As a side note … how great is it to see USC lose? I mean, it just NEVER gets old).

If not for a bunch of early Ducks miscues (and a late Trojans TD), this game would have been even more one-sided. As it was, Oregon, playing against the same Trojan defense that effortlessly blanked the Irish, churned out 399 yards and dropped 24 points on the Spoiled Children en route to their thrilling win.

But it wasn’t just that the Ducks scored against the Trojans. It wasn’t just that they moved the ball seemingly at will against them. No. In fact, it was more about HOW they did it.

Oregon ran quarterback sneaks. They ran misdirection plays. They sometimes did both at the same time, like on their first touchdown. They lined up in the shotgun. Frequently. They threw short, intermediate AND long passes. They did a little bit of everything. And they did most all of it well.

Of course, the Ducks’ offense is piloted – with ruthless efficiency – by a multi-talented, ultra-athletic senior quarterback named Dennis Dixon. And if you’re a big fan of college football like I am, you know that up until this season, this guy might as well have been named Dennis Hopper, as erratic and self-destructive as he often looked.

So maybe next year, with a year of on-field experience and an entire offseason of conditioning, film study and two-a-days under their belts, Jimmy Clausen and/or Evan Sharpley can go from subpar to spectacular, a la Dennis Dixon. Well, let’s not go that far – not yet at least. But you get the point.

Of course, try as many of us may to forget, there’s still FOUR games left in this ugly Irish season. And with all four of those games coming against mid- to low-level opponents, there remain plenty of opportunities for the ultra-anemic Irish offense to start to at least remotely resemble something like the Quack Attack that crapped all over the Trojans Saturday.

NO OFFENSE …

It’s one thing to struggle on offense. But what Notre Dame has done (or not done) through eight games this season? Well, that’s a whole other level of ineptitude.